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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?